


Little miss van der Linde

by thegayestkid



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-17 05:19:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegayestkid/pseuds/thegayestkid
Summary: Emily, daughter of Dutch van der Linde, an outlaw, vigilante, crime lord - whatever you want to call him, is not like any other girl. Born and raised as an outlaw herself, she goes through much more than what the average person does. But what will cost her her life; her crazy father or her love for one of his men?





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> I will be writing this story as an exact copy from the game, with the addition of adding my OC into situations. I think it's safe to say there will be major spoilers, but you have been warned! Also, if I get any of the information wrong about anything at all, please tell me! I am trying my best to make this story as realistic and close to the game as possible. I also want to warn you, that if reading about a minor having a romantic relationship with an older character triggers you, then don't read this. OC is a minor for the first few chapters, but she turns 18 in chapter 8. 
> 
> Enjoy I guess lmao
> 
> (also there will be smut in later chapters so ya)

Dutch van der Linde was called a lot of things. Crime lord, outlaw, bank robber - father. Yes, the man who would never have been thought to adapt to a life with a child of his own, had a daughter. Her name was Emily van der Linde. She was the daughter to Dutch and Annabelle, his lover who was killed by Colm O’Driscoll. At the time of her birth, Annabelle didn’t even spend much time with her daughter, before being killed. So little Emily was left to live her life with her father, Hosea, who became like her grandfather, Arthur Morgan, who was like her older brother, and a few other gang members. 

Over the years, more and more people joined the gang and the little girl grew up to become extraordinary. She knew everything there was to know about being an outlaw - her riding, knife, fishing, and hunting skills were top notch, being taught by everyone in the gang. She also knew how to read and write, thanks to Arthur, who she started to see as more of a father figure as the years went by. But even though she was probably the kid with the highest kill-record in America, she was still seen as “daddy’s little girl” by Dutch. He protected her with his life, didn’t let her out of his sight unless he knew she was being guarded by someone he trusted and most of all, absolutely no one was to know about her existence. Dutch knew, that if Colm found out about Emily, he would do everything in his power to get to her and destroy Dutch. 

When the incident of Blackwater happened, Emily was sitting in camp with Ms. Grimshaw, who was teaching her to knit. It was tiresome for the girl, who was used to action and adrenaline. Their quiet moment was to end soon though, because her father and the rest of the boys suddenly galloped into camp, ordering everyone to pack their bags. She had never seen that look in his eyes before, but she knew what it was; panic. 

Emily obeyed the orders without saying anything, silently but quickly packing her bag and then climbing into one of the wagons with a roof on it. That was one of the many rules her father had made,- if they were to move places, she was not allowed to ride with the gang, but was to hide in the wagons. He said it was “to be safe”. She didn’t question him though, and she was okay with sitting in the wagon since it would give her time to continue reading one of the books Arthur had brought her.  
Their journey was long and tiresome, and she soon fell asleep, book in her lap.


	2. Jealous men and suspicious fathers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be Spanish used in this story, but I will always leave a translation at the end of the chapter.

When I woke up, it was cold and a snowstorm surrounded the whole company. I shivered, realizing I was only wearing one of my long-sleeved tunics, a vest and a pair of pants. I tugged at Hosea’s jacket, who was driving the wagon with my father.

“Hosea? Could I get a jacket?” I asked. He was shielding his eyes from the storm with one of his hands and seemed surprised of the sudden voice coming from the wagon.

“Jesus! I didn’t even know you were in there. Hold on, of course, sweetie.” Hosea answered. He ordered the company to stop and pulled the horses to a halt. 

“Why have we stopped?!” Someone yelled from another wagon. 

“For god's sake! Emily needs some warm clothes. Ms. Grimshaw! Where did you pack the extra jackets?!” He yelled, stepping down from the wagon. I was really cold now. My nose was running, and my whole body was shaking from the cold. The wagon shielded me pretty well from the storm, but the wind could still get to me. After a few minutes, Charles appeared. 

“Here, take my other coat. Seems old man Hosea can’t find anything here.” He smiled at me, holding out a thick, blue coat. I quickly snatched it from him, wrapping the big coat around my body. I nodded to him as thanks and crawled back to the back of the wagon. Soon the party continued their journey, the wind howling even louder now.

Soon, the gang caught up with Arthur, who had been sent to scout ahead for a place to rest. I immediately reacted when I heard his voice. Apparently, he had found an old mining town that we could stay at. When we arrived there, the men checked out the cabins and surroundings, making sure it was safe. Davey, who was in the same wagon as me was soon carried into one of the cabins. I knew though, that he was going to die. I followed Bill and Arthur who carried Davey to the cabin. My father was standing on the doorway, ushering me to get in. 

“Who’s coat is that?” He asked, eyeing me from head to toe. 

“Charles’. He borrowed it to me..” I answered, unsure as to why he was looking at me so suspiciously. 

“Mhm..” 

I walked over to one of the windows, just to stay out of the way. Ms. Grimshaw was already giving out orders, and Abigail soon announced to the gang that Davey was dead. The crew started murmuring. Hosea spoke up.

“What are we gonna do? We need supplies”, he asked Dutch. 

“Well, first of all, you’re gonna stay here... get yourselves warm. I sent John and Micah scouting out ahead. Arthur and I, we're gonna ride out to see if we can find one of ‘em.” 

I was leaning towards a wall but quickly got to my feet when the opportunity to go scouting arose. 

“In this?” Arthur questioned. 

“Just for a short bit.. I don’t see what other choice we have.” Dutch continued on with a speech for the gang, and I quickly got myself ready for the scouting mission. I pulled my throwing knives and revolver from my bag and fastened them to my belt. I went to stand by the door, waiting for father to finish giving out orders to Pearson and Grimshaw. 

Dutch turned around, facing his daughter who was standing by the door, all geared up. 

“Oh no young lady, you stay here.” He sternly said.

“But da-” 

“No! This ain’t a conversation. You gon’ stay here, and get yourself warm, hear me? Now get outta our way, we gotta go find our men.” 

“Exactly! Our men! So let me go with ya!” I argued, raising my voice.

Arthur stepped between us, and quietly put a hand on my shoulder. He nodded at me, and looked at me with that look of "obey your father", who was, after all, the leader of the gang. I huffed, and moved to the side, letting the two men out through the door. 

“Get yourself warm, alright?” Dutch said, turning to face me, before shutting the door behind him.

“Yeah. I will.” I answered him with a half-hearted smile. I knew he meant well but I was tired of being treated like a child. I backed myself up to the small window again, not wanting to interfere with any of the work Grimshaw and Pearson were doing. Uncle and Bill checked a few more cabins and divided the crew up into cabins where to sleep. I was going to share with Tilly, Karen, and Grimshaw. We soon all got settled, everyone getting to work so that this would feel like a campsite. I was left alone in the cabin whilst the other women hurried out to help Grimshaw with whatever she needed them to do. I was tidying up our small cabin and lit a candle so that I could read and have some peace and quiet before Susan would make me do something.

I sat on the edge of my makeshift bed when a certain somebody knocked on the door. I knew who it was of course. 

“Hey, it’s me chica. Let me in.” His smooth voice rang loud and clear from the other side of the door. I smiled, got up and opened the door. 

“What are ya doin’ here?” I smiled sheepishly at Javier, leaning on the doorframe. 

“Had to check on you. Whose coat is that?” He asked, pointing at Charles’ coat that was draped over the only chair in the room.

“Charles’. Why, are ya gettin’ jealous?” 

Javier chuckled and moved past me, sitting down on my bed. 

“No, but mi Amor, you could have asked me for a jacket, instead of Charles.”, he pouted at me. I shut the door and sauntered over to stand in front of him.

“He offered it to me. And besides, you were ridin’ in the back.”, I said. Javier gestured me to come over to him, patting his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sat down in his lap, Javier’s arms gently snaking around my waist, bringing me even closer to him. 

“Someone could walk in on us..” I whispered. I knew of course, that we would have a few more minutes of privacy - but I loved teasing him. Javier silenced my thoughts with a chaste kiss. 

“I have to get back soon chica. Bill is ordering us around. Do you need anything?” I shook my head and got down from his lap. Javier exited the cabin, leaving me smiling for myself. The love between me and the young Mexican had started to blossom sometime last year, and even though he was much older than me, neither one of us cared. I was gonna turn eighteen soon enough. And besides, the age gap between us wasn’t our biggest issue. It was my father finding out about our romance. He trusted Javier with his life, and to Javier, my father was a god. God forbid that anything were to interfere in the relationship between those two. 

I turned around to spot Charles’ jacket on the chair. I had gotten my own clothes finally, now that we had settled down a bit more in our cabins. I grabbed the jacket and went out to find Charles. I knew that he shared a cabin with the rest of the guys, so I headed that way. The wind had settled a bit, but I still had to shield my eyes from the snow blowing from all directions. When I finally reached the run-down cabin, I knocked on the door. Javier opened the door, smirking when he saw me. 

“Couldn’t get enough of me, could ya?” He smirked. I rolled my eyes, pushing past him. 

“I thought you said you were gon’ do some work, that’s why ya’ hurried out of my cabin, wasn’t it?” I stated, putting down the jacket on the bed that seemed to be Charles’. I turned around and faced Javier, who still held that smirk that could melt any girl’s heart. 

“Listen chica, stop playing these games with me or I’m gon’ have to do something about your behavior.” I stifled a laugh and bit my lower lip when I saw him move towards me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him, our faces mere inches from each other.

“And what exactly did ya’ have in mind, señor Escuella? In forms of “doing something about my behaviour”?” I mocked. He chuckled, and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. 

“*Estás en hielo delgado, miss van der Linde.” I grinned at his comment and pulled him down for a kiss. We were both in need of this, but we also knew it would be stupid to even try. We would get caught, that was for certain. So our moment ended as quickly as it began, both pulling away from each other. Not even a second after, the door swung open and Charles’ walked in.

“Emily? What are you doing here?” He asked. Me and Javier took some more distance between us. 

“I um, came to return your jacket. Thanks, by the way.” I said, smiling at him. 

“Yeah, no problem. Any time.” He looked between me and Javier, a puzzling look on his face. He brushed it off and then turned to Javier.

“Bill sent me to come to get you. We need help with Davey’s body.” Javier nodded at Charles, and then both men left the cabin. I followed them, walking over to the cabin where dinner was being prepared. A small table was set up in the middle, where all of our rations were stacked. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for us to survive a week or so. Ms. Grimshaw was standing in the middle of the only room of the cabin, bossing Charles and Bill around.

“Carry those tables over there by the wall! Mr. Pearson, what is taking so goddam’ long with the food?!” She yelled, spotting me standing by the door.

“Girl! Get over here and get to work. This ain’t no hotel! Chop up some of those carrots and help Pearson get the soup started.” I hurried over to the table and grabbed the seven carrots, along with a knife from a basket that Pearson sat down by the table. I got to work, listening to Grimshaw and Pearson bicker and finding it quite amusing. It didn’t take long before dinner was ready. The rest of the gang started appearing one by one, everyone taking a seat somewhere with a bowl of soup in their hand. There wasn’t much space, which meant that everyone was huddled tightly together, to keep warm but also so that we would all fit. We all ate in silence, some small talk being exchanged between a few of the members. Within an hour the cabin was almost empty, me and Grimshaw staying behind to clean up. Most of the gang had retreated back into their own cabins to get some sleep, except the men who stood guard outside. 

I swept the floor whilst Grimshaw washed the dishes. 

“Girl, you’re bein’ quiet. Something wrong?” She asked me. I turned to face her.

“Oh um, nothing is wrong. I guess I just have too much on my mind, miss.” I said with a smile. Grimshaw got up from the chair that she had been seated on, walking over to me, she grabbed the broom and started sweeping herself.

“I can see that, you’ve been sweepin’ the same damn spot for ten minutes. And for god's sake Emily, call me Susan, would ya?” I smiled at her comment. The older woman had become sort of like a mother to me, always looking out for me and the other girls. 

“So what’s buggin’ you, sweetie?” She asked. I bit my lower lip and walked over to the last of our rations, stacking them into a basket. 

“It ain’t a man, right? Men are only trouble, ya’ hear me, girl?” She muttered. I chuckled and nodded my head.

“Yeah, it kinda is.. what do ya’ think father would say if I were to.. love an older man?” Susan looked up at me and laughed.

“Oh dear girl, ya’ tell your man that he starts packin’.. ‘cause if your daddy finds out about that, well - ya’ man’s gonna wish he never laid eyes on ya’.” I looked at her, eyes wide.

“Are you jokin’ with me, Susan?” 

She shook her head and walked over to me, patting me on the shoulder.

“How ‘bout you go get some rest, alright? We’ll worry about ya’ man when we need to.” I nodded at her and left the cabin. When I got outside, I saw lights in the distance. Lenny yelled that Dutch was back. 

“How’d you get on?” Hosea asked when the company got into sight. 

“Fine. Micah found a homestead, but.. he weren’t the first. Colm O’Driscoll and his scum beat us to it. We found some of ‘em there, but there is more about apparently.. scouting a train.” My father explained when getting down from his horse. A woman sat behind him. She had ripped clothes and from what I could guess, probably had been roughed up by the O’Driscolls. She stayed close to him and shied away when people tried to get close. 

“That’s the last thing we need right now, Dutch,” Hosea remarked. My father shrugged.

“Well, it is what it is.. but we found some supplies, some blankets, a little bit of food.. and this poor soul, Mrs. Adler. Miss Tilly, Miss Karen, would you warm her up, give her a drink or something. And Mrs. Adler, it’s gonna be okay, you’re safe now.” Tilly and Karen escorted Mrs. Adler off to our cabin, the poor woman shaking from the cold. Dutch turned to Molly.

“They turned her into a widow.. animals. I need some rest, I haven’t slept in three days.”

“You’re over here... Miss O’Shea will show you the way.” Susan started, motioning Dutch to follow Molly. Grimshaw told Arthur and Micah where they were gonna stay, and Micah, of course, got upset. Boo fucking hoo.

“How come Arthur gets a room and I get a bunk bed next to Bill Williamson and a bunch of darkies?!” He spat.

“Get yourself to bed.” Hosea snapped. Everyone scurried off to their cabins, tired from the long few days we’d had. 

“Sweetie, go get some rest. We all need some right now.” Hosea said to me, patting me on the shoulder. 

\---  
*Estás en hielo delgado = you’re on thin ice


	3. Dog bites kill men

The next morning, the wind still kept going on, and the snowstorm blew through our camp. I had been awake since dawn, taking care of the horses. My horse was a beautiful seal brown Thoroughbred that my father had gotten me last year. She was incredibly fast, and I trusted her with my life. I finished brushing her when I saw Arthur come out of his cabin, and walk over to the one where we had dinner yesterday. He waved at me as soon as he spotted me brushing Rachel. I saddled Rachel and was ready to get ready to go for a ride when Javier and Arthur came out of the cabin. Javier went to fetch Boaz. 

“Where are ya’ goin’?” I asked, whilst Arthur mounted his new steed.   
“Out to look for John. Why?” He asked. He knew why I asked. He knew exactly why. I looked at him and quirked an eyebrow, mocking him for asking such a question. Arthur sighed.

“Fine. You can come along. But don’t tell ya’ daddy I let you come with us, he’ll have me hanged.” I chuckled at Arthur, turning Rachel around and looking over my shoulder to see Javier trot up to us on Boaz.

“Is Emily comin’ with us?”

“Yeah. Unless you have a problem with it?” I teased. Javier shook his head with a smile and started leading us out of camp. 

“This way. Last I know, John was headed up the river.” Javier said.

“For all we know, he kept riding north and never looked back,” Arthur remarked. 

“He wouldn’t leave. Not like that.” Javier answered Arthur. We kept a fast pace, me riding in the rear to let the fellers talk. 

“Well, wouldn’t be the first time..” Arthur muttered. The wind was blowing hard as we rode up the mountain. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Javier spotted smoke. 

“Hey, I see some smoke. Come on, let’s take a look.”

“Let’s hope it ain’t more of ‘em O’Driscoll boys,” Arthur said. We rode up to the smoke, to see an abandoned camp. Javier got down from his horse to examine the camp.

“Well.. seems somebody left.. recently.. aaand.. that way.” Javier pointed. I looked to where he pointed - it was even higher up on the mountain. We wouldn’t be able to climb that high with the horses. 

We continued onwards, over the river and up the mountain. The boys talked about Blackwater, but I didn’t really pay any attention. I was sure I just heard a wolf howl, so I kept a lookout for any wolves or other things. Rachel suddenly neighed and started thrashing her head around. Something was spooking her. We encountered a ravine, where Javier told us to ride carefully. I pulled Rachel to a walk. She was already a little bit skittish, and I didn’t want her to spook and hurt herself or me. The I heard Javier answer Arthur about something that caught my attention.

“Dutch killed a girl in a.. bad way. But it was a bad situation.” My breath got caught in my throat, chills going down my spine - but not because of the cold. I knew that my father killed people, but never in cold blood. I was so deep in thought I didn’t steer Rachel at all, the big horse moving by herself.

Rachel followed the other two, continuing around the ravine. I almost fell off when Rachel suddenly started cantering, to catch up with Boaz and Arthur’s horse, who were also cantering. I got pulled out of my thoughts and started actually to pay attention, realizing John’s life was at stake here and there wasn’t any time for daydreaming. The snow blew in harder, making it hard to make out what was in front of us. We soon came to a narrow passage, all of our horses getting a bit anxious and tired. 

“Horses are gettin’ a bit tired..” Arthur remarked. Javier agreed. 

“I don’t know about this Javier.. we can’t follow nothin’,” Arthur said to Javier, who was pushing Boaz forward. I let Rachel walk for a bit again, letting her recharge her energy. The men continued on before me, leaving me a bit behind.

“Let’s push on a little bit, maybe we’ll pick up the trail again.” I heard Javier say before the two men disappeared behind a curve of the mountain. 

“C’mon girl, you’re alright..” I soothed Rachel, who was continuing onwards even though she was visibly exhausted. We both suddenly faintly heard Javier yell that he saw something. 

“I’m sorry Rach, but we gotta pick up the pace..” I told her, giving her a firm squeeze and managing to get her into a loose canter up the mountain. I soon spotted Javier and Arthur examining what seemed like the corpse of John’s horse. I urged Rachel on, managing to catch up with the guys when Javier fired a shot up in the sky, to see if John would notice us, wherever he was. We all heard John’s voice coming from higher up, yelling for help, so we set out towards the noise. Suddenly, Javier jumped off Boaz.

“I don’t think we can go much further on the horses. We’ll have to walk from here.” Arthur got down too, and I was about to when Javier turned to me.

“You stay here with the horses, and we’ll get John.” I scoffed at him.

“Are you serious? No way.” I got down from Rachel but didn’t get much further until Arthur’s warning voice stopped me.

“Javier’s right Emily, ya’ ain’t going with us. Stay here, guard the horses and fire a shot if something comes.” I sighed in defeat and muttered an “okay” under my breath, getting back up on Rachel to have the upper hand if something were to attack us. 

“I’d grab that shotgun from your horse. Who knows what’s up ahead.” Javier ordered Arthur. I gulped. The thought of wolves when I was alone, up here in the cold with nothing but a few throwing knives and a revolver quite frankly, frightened me. Javier turned to look at me and mouthed “be safe” to me before leading Arthur to John.  
Arthur and Javier disappeared once again, around and down the mountain, out of view. I sat impatiently on Rachel, fiddling with the bracelet that Dutch had given me. Apparently, it was my mom’s. My thoughts wandered to John, and I hoped he was alright. He was like my older brother and had taught me many useful things. I smiled when I thought of one of my best memories with him. He was teaching me to shoot better when moving on horseback, and I had failed miserably during his lesson. I even fell off Rachel at one point, when I accidentally fired a shot a little too close to her liking. Speaking of Rachel, she was shifting uncomfortably in the snow, where she had been staying for the last hour. I shuddered when a sudden burst of wind blew in from the north. It was starting to get dark. I decided to check on Boaz and Arthur’s horse, so I got down from Rachel and commanded her to stay put. Both of the horses were fine but anxious. I could sense the discomfort in the air, anybody could. I got back on Rachel and checked how many bullets I had in my revolver. Not knowing what else to do, I just sat and waited, daydreaming myself away to better days.

After what seemed like forever of silence and waiting, something happened. All three of the horses suddenly stiffened, and Boaz started to move around anxiously. Rachel flinched and Arthur’s horse reared when three wolves appeared on one of the cliff edges above us. I turned in my saddle to see Javier carrying a very wounded John, and Arthur walking towards the wolves. Javier started jogging toward me and the horses, and Arthur fired a shot, killing one of the wolves. 

“Is he mad?!” I yelled at Javier, who quickly got up on Boaz with John riding behind him.

“We gotta get out of here.” He stated, ushing Boaz into a gallop. Rachel wanted to follow, but I stopped her and aimed at one of the wolves who was attacking Arthur. I hit its shoulder, and it then decided to attack me instead of Arthur. Rachel reared at the wolf that was sprinting towards us, and I held on and tried to fire another shot at the wolf, missing. I fired another one, missing again. I cursed under my breath and heard Javier yelling for me to watch out. Before I knew it, I was laying on the ground, Rachel panicking by Boaz and Javier. The wolf growled and moved towards me slowly. I got to my feet as quickly as possible and aimed for its neck but before the bullet hit it, the wolf jumped at me and managed to scratch my leg. The bullet killed it, but I yelped in pain at the long jack that cut through my pants and skin. Blood started pouring out of my leg and through the now thrashed pants. I looked over at Javier, who had the same look of panic on his face as my father had when they returned from the failed Blackwater heist. I whistled for Rachel to come over to me and clumsily got up on her. Arthur killed the last of them, and we all quickly started heading down the mountain. All horses were agitated, they could smell the predators nearby. Rachel could also feel my blood trickling down her stomach, so she kept her pace with the others, not wanting me to hurt anymore. I leaned forward, not really feeling well. I couldn’t hear what Arthur and Javier said anymore, their voices drowning in with the sound of my own heavy breathing and the sound of my heartbeat. Soon my vision began to become blurry too, and I decided to close my eyes for a second. Rachel picked up her pace and I heard a faint yell coming from Arthur.

“Hey! Don’t you give up on us yet girl! Stay with us Em.” He shouted at me. Javier shouted something not long after, and I heard gunshots being fired. My head was now buried in Rachel’s mane, not knowing for how much longer I could hold on. My leg felt weird. Cold from the chilliness of the mountain, but almost not there because of the blood loss. I swear I blacked out for a bit, but I woke to my senses when I felt cold water splashing up my leg. We were riding in the lake, probably trying to lose our scent so that the wolves wouldn’t find us. I heard Javier talking to John, coaxing him and trying to keep him awake. John said something about knowing a man who once got bit by a dog and died an hour later. I gather Arthur was trying to do the same to me as Javier was to John, but all of his words were like a blur. I just kept my vision focused on the lights in the distance. We weren’t far from camp now. We rode into camp, Javier immediately yelling for help.

“Come on! Someone help John down off this horse.” 

“Can we get some help here?! We have two wounded people!” Arthur shouted, concern in his voice. 

“Can we get some help?!” he shouted again, getting down from his horse and quickly walking over to me, helping me down. Finally, Abigail, Bill, and Lenny came to help us, getting John down from Boaz and Javier, per usual, shouting something rude at them in Spanish. Hosea came over to me and Arthur.

“What happened?! Grimshaw, get over here and help Emily, quickly!” Hosea yelled. Javier was by me in an instant, arm around my waist and almost lifting me off the ground. Susan and Tilly came sprinting towards us. I was lead into one of the cabins and put to rest on a table, whilst few of the crew members worked on stitching up my leg. The last thing I remember is seeing Susan’s concerned but as always, stern face looking at me. Then everything went dark.


	4. Too young for whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the last chapter being so bad! I read through it and realized it was incredibly messy and probably hard to follow. I promise to have better content in the future!

I woke up to people scurrying around the cabin, hushed voices dancing around me. I slowly opened my eyes to see that I was lying in my bed, in our cabin. I sat up, and every face in the room turned to me. It was Tilly who came to me first.

“How are you feelin’? Ms. Grimshaw said you might not be feelin’ that good.” I smiled at her, sitting up completely and looking at my leg. It was bandaged in the best way the gang knew how to do, and it just ached a bit. I tried to get up, but Tilly was quick to push me down back. 

“Sorry. Direct orders from Dutch. He told us to keep ya’ in your bed today.” 

“C’mon, I can’t just stay in bed.” I shook my head, getting up again. I groaned in pain when I was finally on my feet, my left leg not really wanting to support my full weight. It didn’t hurt that much though, and I managed to walk on it pretty well, with the occasional hiss of pain escaping past my lips. I put on some more clothes and clumsily made my way out of the cabin, despite Tilly’s warnings. The weather outside was much better, the wind had settled so you could finally see the entire landscape and campsite. I could spot Rachel hitched next to Boaz and Arthur’s horse. Memories from yesterday flooded my mind and I tried to make sense of everything. How could I have been so stupid? Arthur could have managed himself, but oh no I had to step in and play the big guy. 

Then another thing popped into my mind. Javier. I wonder if he’s mad at me. Speaking of, looking around I saw him standing guard outside of the fellers’ cabin, rifle in hand. His eyes were fixated on something far away, but his gaze soon started wandering around until he saw me. His face almost seemed to drop when he saw me, and he quickly turned to look away from me. I sighed and walked down the steps of the cabin, heading towards him. I didn’t make it far until someone cleared their throat behind me. I turned around and faced Arthur, who stood with his arms folded over his chest on the porch of his, Dutch’s, Hosea’s and I guess, Molly’s cabin. 

“Where do ya’ think you’re goin’? You should be resting.” He lit a cigarette and waited for my response.

“I’m fine. I can’t just lay in bed all day can I?” Arthur took another drag of his cigarette. 

“You can and ya’ will. Come on now, let’s get you back to bed.” He started walking down the steps but was interrupted by Dutch, who stepped out on to the porch as well, probably to smoke too. He halted when he saw me.

“You and I need to have a little talk.” He sternly said, gesturing for me to come into their cabin. I huffed and limped over to the porch, holding on to the rail not to fall. Arthur tried to give me a hand, but Dutch stopped him.

“Don’t. She can clearly handle herself if she thinks she can go out shootin’ wolves. Ain’t that right?” He said. I didn’t answer, but opened the door and walked in to see Hosea sitting by the fireplace. He smiled upon seeing me and patted the small chair next to him. Dutch followed me and slammed the door shut.

“Care to explain yourself?” He asked. I tried to avoid his gaze, but I could feel his judgemental stare on me no matter where I looked.

“I-um.. we were attacked, and it just kinda happened..” I mumbled. I fiddled with my bracelet again, rolling the small stones between my fingers to not start crying. I hated it when he was angry at me.

“Didn’t I tell you that we need to lay low for a while? Huh? What would have happened if it was one of O’Driscoll’s boys? And not some wolves?” Arthur came back into the cabin and stood behind Dutch. 

“But it wasn’t.. and everything is fine now.” 

“You call an almost infected leg ‘fine’?!” Dutch raised his voice. I looked up at Hosea, trying to get some comfort from him but he just kept staring into the fire. His facial expression was stern and blank. 

“I had Arthur and Javier there to protect me, I was fine,” I argued, finally gathering up the courage to look at him. He shook his head and turned to face Arthur.

“Yes, indeed you did. But what is it that you don’t understand about rules?! If I tell you not to go and get yourself killed, then don’t!” He shouted. 

“You never told me I couldn’t go out and help my own family!” I shouted back, getting up to stand but my leg failing me. Dutch caught me from falling and pulled me in for a sudden hug. 

“You just gotta understand... you-you’re all I have. You’re everythin’ I have left of your mama..” I wrapped my arms around him and let my tears fall. 

“I was so scared daddy... I promise I won’t do it again, I’m sorry” I sniffled, burying my head into his black coat. It smelled like timber and cigarettes, just like him. It reminded me of my childhood, those smells. He pulled away from me and wiped a tear off my face. I sat down by Hosea, who finally decided to speak.

“Grimshaw told me to tell you to go to her when you’re finally up.” I got back up and stumbled over to the door.

“I’m glad you’re okay sweetie. We all are.” I smiled when I heard Hosea speak. Pushing the door open, I tried to walk as normally as possible to the cabin where we had had dinner the other night. I saw Pearson outside of the cabin, preparing some kind of meat. He looked up at me and nodded his head as a greeting.

“Susan’s inside.” He mumbled. I nodded at him and made my way inside, finding Susan preparing some food with the woman Dutch had brought back from a couple of nights ago. They were well occupied with their task at hand and didn’t notice me until the door slammed shut. Grimshaw spun around and immediately rushed to me.

“Oh, what the hell are you doin’ up from bed, girl?!” She said, pulling out a chair for me to sit on.

“It’s okay, I’m fine. Hosea said you wanted to see me?” 

“Right, I need to check on your wound. Mrs. Adler, could you get me some warm water and rags?” She asked the woman, Mrs. Adler. She nodded and quietly walked out of the cabin to fetch the water and rags. Grimshaw pulled out another chair and sat herself down on it, lifting my left leg into her lap. She handed me a cup of water and started pulling off my boot and rolling up my pant leg, and we sat there, quiet. Susan was the one to break the silence. 

“Javier was awfully concerned about you yesterday.” I hummed in response. Susan looked up at me and arched an eyebrow.

“Didn’t think he’d be your kind of feller. Figured you’d go for someone like Mr. Summers.” I almost choked on my water. 

“Oh don’t play silly dear. It was quite obvious that he’s the man ya’ talked to me about. Don’t worry. I won’t tell your daddy. Just make sure he treats you right and if he doesn’t, tell me. Hear, girl?” I nodded. 

“Thank you, Susan.” 

“You’re quite welcome, dear. Now, where is that woman with those rags?!” Grimshaw got up and went out of the cabin, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Okay, so now one out of the 22 gang members knew. Wonder who would find out next. 

I suddenly heard voices shouting outside, and quickly pulled my boot on to go check what was going on. I opened the door and leaned against the doorframe, and watched as all of the men mounted their horses.

“Mr. Matthews, Mr. Smith, Mr. Pearson.. would you please look after the place, there are O’Driscolls about.” I heard Dutch yell, before leading the rest of the men out of the camp. I stood by the door, dumbfounded and worry spreading all over my being. I hadn’t talked to Javier. What if something were to happen to him? And the last thing I said to him was something up in the mountains when we were getting attacked?! I stumbled back into the cabin and sat down, trying to gather my thoughts and calm myself. I spotted a bottle of whiskey stashed behind a pile of canned vegetables, and snatched it without thinking. I took a swig, feeling the burning sensation of the liquid running down my throat. I was about to take a second swig from the bottle when Charles, along with Grimshaw, came into the cabin.

“Aren’t you a bit young to be drinking?” Charles asked, chuckling. Grimshaw marched over to me and grabbed the bottle from my hand.

“What do you think you’re doing girl?! Now let me see that leg. Mr. Smith, sit down and wait for your turn.” Charles put his hands up in the air in a sign of defeat and sat down to wait for Grimshaw to finish patching up my leg, before moving on to checking on his hand.

“Do I have an infection?” I asked Susan, who shook her head.

“No, but you might as well. Mr. Matthews said you probably fainted due to the shock. But everything looks good to me. Get outta here girl, and go lie down, for god’s sakes!” She yelled, waving her hand in the air for me to get up and get lost. 

I returned to the cabin I was sleeping in and decided to actually follow orders and lie down. I lit a candle and lied down with the book I had gotten from Arthur. I hadn’t really had time to read it properly, so this was a fantastic opportunity to do so. Many hours passed, and eventually, I heard hoofbeats coming towards the camp. I realized I had read the book almost to its end, and decided to take a break in reading and go check on Javier and the others - assuming it was Dutch’s gang who had returned. Blowing out the candle, I set my book down and pulled my boots back on, along with my coat. When I got outside I heard someone else returning to the camp too, a bit late than the others, who already were hitching up their horses and returning to their cabins. I couldn’t see Javier anywhere but presumed that he had gone to his cabin already. 

The person riding into camp was Arthur, with someone hogtied to his horse. 

“Here we are, you sack of shit. Let’s introduce you to the boys.” Arthur said to the man, before throwing him over his shoulder and walking towards his and Dutch’s cabin. 

“Don’t hurt me, please..” The man pleaded, but Arthur didn’t care.

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re real nice.” I walked over to Arthur, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to me. Oh, how I hated it when they brought back people. Last time, a feller lost his balls and all of his toes on his right foot.

“Arthur, what the hell are you doing?” I asked, sprinting up to him. I yelped when pain shot up my leg, and I realized that me sprinting might not be a good idea right now.

“Please miss, help me please!” The man squirmed and pleaded, but Arthur shut him up by throwing him on the ground in front of the cabin. Dutch emerged from the cabin, the rest of the men following him outside. 

“You found the little shit, did you?” He asked Arthur, eyeing the man laying on the cold ground.   
“Yep... I got him.” Arthur answered, proceeding to cut the ropes by the man’s feet.

“Very good. Welcome to your new home, hope you’re real happy here.” Dutch said with a smirk on his face, watching Arthur pull the man to his feet.

“Do you want me to make him talk?” 

“Oh no, right now all we’ll get is lies. Uncle, Mr. Williamson, tie this maggot up someplace safe. We get him hungry first. I got a saying my friend - we shoot fellers need shooting, save fellers need saving and feed ‘em need feeding. Now let’s find out what you need. I can’t believe it! An O’Driscoll, in my camp!” Dutch laughed, watching Bill and Uncle drag the poor man to god knows where. 

“No, I ain't-a O’Driscoll mister! I hate that feller!” The man yelled, trying to prevent the men from taking him away. 

“Oh, whatever you say son. Well done, Arthur.” Dutch said, nodding his head towards Arthur.

“I’m just sorry we missed out on Colm.” 

“Oh, there’s time enough for that. Now, I gotta figure out if we can hit that train.” Dutch said, walking back into the cabin. 

“Okay,” Arthur answered. He turned to me, who still stood there. 

“Don’t act surprised. We aren’t good men, you know this is what we do.” He said, turning to walk to check on his horse.

“Why? He said he ain’t an O’Driscoll.” 

Arthur laughed.

“Don’t worry about it, Emily.” 

I turned to walk into the cabin, ready to confront my father about what he was going to do to the poor man, but I didn’t even get to the door until it swung open and out stepped, Javier. He froze when he saw me.

“Why have you been avoidin’ me?” I asked softly. He moved past me, without saying a word.

“Hey! I’m talkin’ to you!” I said, trying to catch up with him, but my foot preventing me from doing so. He turned around when he realized I was struggling, and stopped. 

“I could have gotten you killed. Do you know how that feels? That I would have been responsible for the death of the woman I love?” He took a step towards me, quieting his voice so that Arthur wouldn’t overhear.

I stood there, shocked, for a minute.   
“You-you love me?” I stuttered, eyes wide. Never had he revealed his feelings like this. He smiled and grabbed my hand.

“Of course, mi Amor. But you have to understand, I don’t like you being in danger.” Now it was my turn to smile.

“You know I can handle myself.” I teased, causing a smirk to grow on Javier’s face. 

“I know. But it wouldn’t hurt for you to take it easy from time to time, now would it?” I shook my head and leaned up to quickly press a kiss to his lips. I looked around to see if anyone had seen us, but it seemed as if everyone in camp was somewhere off minding their own business. 

“Never, Mr. Escuella.”


	5. Broke a chair, broke a heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, there is Spanish used in this chapter but there are translations of the words used at the end of the chapter! Also, I chose to change the P.O.V I write into 3rd person, just because I feel like it's better than to write it from Emily's P.O.V. I might switch it up again at some point, but for now I'll write in 3rd person.

That night I didn’t sleep very well. Partly, because my leg had started to hurt more, but mostly because my thoughts kept wandering to the poor man Arthur had dragged into camp. It must have been past midnight when I finally decided I had enough, and got up to find the man. As quietly as possible, I snuck out of the cabin and into the darkness of the night. I could make out someone standing by the entrance of the camp, but whoever it was didn’t see me as I tiptoed around camp. I finally found the poor man, almost frozen to death - tied up in a run-down old outhouse. His head hung low, but snapped up when he heard the door creak open. I peeked in and saw that Bill and Uncle had landed a few pretty good blows to his face. The area around his right eye was darker, and his lower lip was bleeding. As soon as he noticed me, I quickly put a finger to my lips, signaling him to be quiet. He looked confused.

“W-who are you?” 

“Look, I don’t have much time. Here, I brought you something to eat.” I handed him half a carrot and an apple. 

“I know it isn’t much, but it was all I had stashed away in my own bag. And I would have brought you a blanket too, but the others would have noticed it and that wouldn’t be good.” I held up the carrot for him to eat since his hands were tied behind his back. He eagerly took a few bites.

“A-and you can call me Emily. Or Em.” I smiled at him, and he quietly nodded and continued to eat. We chit-chatted with hushed voices for a while longer, whilst I awkwardly fed the man. I learned that his name was Kieran. He told me about his parents, who had died when he was young. I felt bad for him. I hoped maybe my father would accept him into our gang, he seemed really genuine and that's hard to come by in this day and age. Soon I snuck back to bed, laying down I could feel sleep sneak onto me and feeling satisfied with doing a good deed I fell into a peaceful slumber. 

Morning crept onto us slowly, and I could hear birds chirping outside and voices talking. They seemed cheerful and happy. Maybe the gang members were slowly becoming themselves again. It was a miracle really, considering how much we had lost. My mind still kept wandering to both Jenny and Sean, who I had been very close to. I still held hope that Sean would be safe, and would soon return to the gang - one way or another. I opened my eyes and was blinded by the bright sunlight that was seeping in through the window. I sat up and noticed that I was alone. Everyone else must be up doing chores already. I was surprised Ms. Grimshaw had let me sleep in so many mornings in a row. Getting up from my bedroll, I noticed my leg wasn’t hurting that much anymore. It still couldn’t support my full weight, but at least it was somewhat healing itself, and I could walk normally on it.  
I hadn’t ridden Rachel since that night we rescued John, and I knew that I was as eager as the horse herself to get back to our old days, where I would take her for a ride at least once a day. 

I threw on my jacket and went to find Grimshaw, deciding it would be a good idea to try and do some chores so that I wouldn’t appear as some stuck up princess doing nothing. I found the rest of the girls in one of the cabins, patching up some clothes whilst singing some old tunes. I sat down and got to work with them, humming along with one of the more familiar songs. 

 

Change of P.O.V

 

Days passed. The cheerful energy around the campsite was still in the air, despite the cold and the hunger. The camp was filled with more lighthearted energy suddenly. Arthur and Charles went out to hunt, meaning that the camp finally got some more food, and the rest of the men planned out the train robbery. The women and Jack sat around cheerfully singing and laughing. Emily and Javier snuck around camp at night, spilling hushed words into each other’s ears and stealing kisses from each other. Emily’s leg finally healed enough to let her get back on her horse, and she even managed to shoot a few rabbits for Pearson to cook when out on a ride. John was still at bedrest, but he was slowly becoming himself. Dutch had a good feeling about this, about everything. Everyone’s spirits were suddenly lifted, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to pull off the train heist. It was now or never, he thought.

It was a pleasant morning. The sun shined, birds chirped. Jack had dragged Emily outside to play in the snow, which she had gladly joined him to do. It made her reminisce about her younger days, the days where she was innocent and the only thing on her mind was horses and fairytales. She sat crouched by Jack, who eagerly built a snowman. 

“Emmy! Come help me find something for his nose!” Jack suddenly said. Emily smiled at the little boy, joy spreading throughout her being at the sound of the nickname Jack had given her. It was, as the boy, innocent. She had a vague memory of Hosea calling her that back in the day, but nowadays people called her Em or Emily. It sounded more mature, and less innocent - which she by no means was. Those days of daydreaming about horses and fairytales were over, her mind being corrupted by thoughts of survival and worry for her family.  
She followed Jack towards a tree, where he insisted she would help him pick up small stones for eyes for the snowman and something for the nose. The pair sat on their knees and scavenged the ground for their needed materials. They settled on a piece of bark for the nose. When the snowman finally was done, Abigail came out to look for her son, who with pure joy in his face proudly showed his mom his creation.

“Look, momma! Me and Emmy made a snowman!” He shouted. Abigail smiled and turned towards Emily.

“Thank you for keepin’ him company.” She told Emily, who nodded at Abigail, giving a small smile. 

“Momma, can I see dad?” Jack suddenly blurted out. Abigail looked like she was about to deny the small boy’s request, but sighed and led Jack towards the cabin where John was resting.

“Alright. Come on then.” 

Emily got up and brushed the snow off her knees, and disappeared to go find Javier.  
Dutch, followed by Arthur, marched out of the same cabin Abigail and Jack had entered just a few minutes ago. The gang leader ordered Bill to go ride ahead, deciding that now would be a perfect time to pull this off. Hosea, being the wise old man he is, of course, argued against Dutch. 

“Why are we doing this? Weather’s breaking, we could be leaving. I-I thought we was lying low.” 

“What do you want from me, Hosea?” Dutch asked with a sigh as if this were the only option.

“I just don’t want any more people to die, Dutch.”, Hosea walked up to Dutch, who put his hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“We’re living Hosea, we’re living - look at me, we’re living.. even you.” Hosea turned away from Dutch, it was apparent that he still disagreed with this heist. The two continued arguing. 

A few meters away, stood Javier and Emily. They were behind a cabin, Emily leaned towards the outer wall of the cabin with Javier standing in front of her. He had his right hand planted on the wall beside her head, keeping her put between him and the wooden wall. They had been talking about this and that, small kisses being exchanged between the two once in a while. Javier leaned down to kiss Emily for almost a thousand time, but sighing, pulled away when he heard Dutch shout. 

“Gentlemen, it is time to make something of ourselves. Get your horses ready, we have a train to rob.” Hearing this, Javier looked to his lover with an apologetic look and went to walk away, but the younger female grabbed him by his poncho and pulled him back to her.

“Promise me you won’t get killed?” She made it sound more like a question than an order. Javier smiled, whispering “of course” before his lips were captured in a short but passionate kiss by her. The pair pulled apart, and Emily watched the Mexican walk towards his horse. The group of men rode away, clouds of powdered snow appearing in the air from the hooves of their horses. 

When they were out in the open, out of the camp and following the trail of hoofprints left by Bill and Brown Jack, Dutch spilled the necessary information about the robbery to the rest of the group. After an hour of riding or so, they were finally out of the snowy landscape. Dutch praised his crew, amping them up for the robbery. They felt focused. Ready to do this. Even though Hosea was right - they needed to stay low for a while, Dutch was right too: the gang needed the money. The small crew reached their destination finally, after a short argument between Micah and the rest of the fellers. Micah, of course, had brought up Blackwater, and the money they were forced to leave there when everything went south. Dutch had quickly shut Micah up, telling him with a stern voice that the money was safe, and that was the end of it. 

The crew watched Bill from the ridge, and Dutch told Arthur to go down and help him out a bit, leaving the rest of the men observing their work from above. It was almost silent, apart from the quiet conversation Lenny and Javier were having. Dutch couldn’t help but overhear when the two men mentioned his daughter.

“You know, Emily wanted to come along on this heist,” Lenny said to Javier, stifling his laughter. Javier cocked his eyebrow and sent a small glare towards the younger feller. 

“What’s so funny about that?” He asked Lenny. 

“Well, uh - I mean no offense towards her, but-” 

“She can handle herself just fine. She would just have been a disadvantage to us now because of her injury, and-” Javier started rambling, defending his secret lover but was interrupted by Micah.

“You sure about that? She didn’t seem to handle herself too well the last time.” Micah commented, chuckling. Both Javier and Dutch turned to look at Micah, ugly stares going Micah’s way. It was Dutch who spoke up, a warning tone lingering in his voice.

“You should choose your next words very carefully, Micah. It’s my daughter you’re speaking of here.” He spits Micah’s name out like it was venom, and Micah - evidently intimidated by his boss, scoffed and turned to look away. He muttered something under his breath, which made Javier even more agitated. He would have told Micah off if it wouldn’t have been for Dutch.

“Here comes Arthur.”

“About time. I have to say, I am rather looking forward to this.” Micah commented, obviously trying to relieve the tension in the air and change the subject.

“Just be ready to move quick, and remember the plan.. all of you,” Dutch said. Arthur rode up next to his boss, and repeated what Bill had said; it was all fine. The gang covered their faces and waited for the signal - which was for Bill to light up the dynamite. 

It seemed fairly simple enough, but something was wrong. The detonator didn’t set off the dynamite, and the crew had to rethink their plan. Javier and Lenny quickly got down from their horses without a thought and started running towards the train. Javier shouted for Arthur to get going, and the three men set out in a run. Jumping off the cliff and onto the train, Javier landed in a bad way and got thrown off the train’s roof. Lenny clung onto the train, yelling for help. Arthur got to his feet and pulled the younger feller up onto the roof. Arthur and Lenny took care of the guards and pulled the train to a stop, whilst the rest of the gang caught up with them. Blowing up the door to the private car, they ended up finding exactly what they needed and returned to camp as heroes. 

Returning to camp, Emily immediately volunteered to take care of Javier, who needed to have his foot checked from the fall. The rest of the men and women gathered in another cabin to celebrate.

Javier sat down on one of the lonely chairs in the cabin, with Emily following him and shutting the door. She sighed and walked over to him, removing his hat and placing it on the beat-up table next to them. 

“I told you to be careful.” She mumbled. He didn’t answer. She was kneeling down by his feet, removing his boot and rolling up the denim fabric of his pants. He swatted her hands away and put his boot back on.

“The least you could do is let me check on your foot.” She said, this time with a more stern voice. But Javier could hear the quavering in her voice. He only grunted in response, and stood up to exit the cabin, but was pushed down back on the chair by Emily. 

“Just talk to me! You could have died out there, a-and all because of my idiot of a father!” Emily said, raising her voice. She turned away from him as she rambled on.

“I didn’t.” He mumbled. She turned to face him again.

“What?” She asked, unsure of what he had meant.

“I didn’t die. I’m here and alive. It’s just a sprain.” His words came out as a mere whisper, and it was surprising that she even could hear him. She scoffed.

“Just a sprain. Yeah. But next time it might be your life that you lose.” She looked right into his eyes, tears threatening to spill.

“What do you want me to do then, huh? Become some farmer? Should I leave this life just because of the love between us? Is that truly what you want, *querida?” He stood up and took a step towards her with each word that spilled out of his mouth, to emphasize his words. 

“You know I could never ask you to do that,” Emily said. She was doing everything in her power to keep her voice steady and not let him hear the tremble in her voice, but he stood so close now that he could see the tears stinging in her eyes and probably hear her heartbeat going like a hummingbird.

“Then you need to let this go! You chose to love me, and I chose to love you, but **amado, that’s everything there is to us. We’re outlaws! We’re never safe. And I love this life as much as I love you, but if you can’t let such a simple thing like this go, then maybe.. maybe-”

“Maybe what?” 

“Maybe you should love a simple man instead of me.” His words stung her heart, and that was her breaking point. Tears rolled down her cheeks, falling onto her thick jacket. His facial expression was stern, but she could see the tears in his eyes too. Maybe he didn’t mean it? No. He did. She was certain of that.

“Maybe I should.” Emily managed to choke out, before turning around and disappearing out of the cabin. He didn’t even try to stop her. She was expecting him to run up to her, grab her and tell her it’s alright. Hold her tight and make her feel all warm and fuzzy inside like he had a couple of hours ago. That he didn’t mean it, that he loves her no matter what. But no. So she continued out, alone, into the cold evening, leaving the love of her life by himself in the cabin. 

Javier stood and watched how the door closed behind her, and he finally let his own tears fall. He was angry, frustrated - his heart ached of pain, for he had said such words to the young woman he so dearly loved. He kicked the chair, which went flying towards a pile of rubbish in the corner of the room and broke into three pieces. He broke down on the floor, sobbing and crying helplessly. What had he done?

\---  
*querida = dear  
**amado = love


	6. By the lakeside

The next day it was time to move. People scurried through the camp, packing the wagons and readying the horses. Emily was helping Lenny with gearing up one of the bigger draft horses to a wagon when Hosea came up to her. She thought Hosea had come to tell her to get her stuff and go to the wagon Dutch would be driving, like always when they moved, but no. 

“Emily, can I talk to you for a second?” Hosea asked. Emily looked to Lenny.

“It’s okay, I got this.”, he said, patting the big sand-colored stallion on its neck.   
The horse replied to this by throwing its head up in the air and taking a few steps back, accidentally stepping on Lenny’s toes. Lenny groaned in pain and jerked the reins he was holding the stallion with, but this only made the horse continue its actions. Lenny clung onto the reins and was visibly struggling, curse words slipping past his lips whilst the horse kept dancing around. It was quite a funny sight, both Emily and Hosea had to stifle their laughter so that the poor man wouldn’t be too embarrassed.

“You sure? He’s always a bit of work.” Emily said, a huge grin plastered on her face. Lenny sighed in desperation, and Emily walked back up to the stallion and calmed it down. 

“What was it that you wanted to talk to me about, Hosea?” Emily asked over her shoulder, fastening the last few straps and then backing the horse up to the wagon where the second horse was already parked. Hosea cleared his throat and watched as the girl with ease controlled the huge horse, and within a minute had it next to the other horse, ready to go.

“Yes, me and Dutch, we thought that you could ride with one of the fellers this time.” Emily turned to face the older man, her face lit up with excitement.

“Really? What did you do to father for him to agree with this..” Hosea chuckled at her comment and patted her on her shoulder.

“Nothing, nothing. We just realized we don’t have to tell anybody who you are. You could just as well be Abigail’s younger sister or just another runaway youngster we’ve taken in. But enough talk, if you want to ride then you better go get Rachel ready, eh?” Emily smiled at Hosea, hugged him quickly and ran over to her horse. 

In an hour or so, the camp was packed up and the gang ready to go. Emily was ordered to ride by the wagon Dutch was driving, just so that he could keep an eye on her. It didn’t take long for them to get moving, everyone was eager to get out of the snowy landscape. Everything seemed to be going in the right direction, but not for Emily, of course. She was happily trotting along the wagons until she heard Dutch shout.

“Lenny! Micah! You two ride up ahead, make sure there are no surprises.” The two men galloped away. Dutch looked around to try and spot his daughter. 

“Emily, move back to where Lenny and Micah rode. I think Javier is riding there now, might be nice with some company.” He commanded her. Emily’s face froze, but she nodded and slowed Rachel down, waiting for the second wagon to pass. She steered Rachel in between the second and third wagon, where Javier was riding, alone. She didn’t say anything to him, didn’t even look at him. Yesterday’s events still replayed in her head, a lump forming in her throat from the thought of what Javier had said. 

They rode in silence until a crash was heard from the back of the line. Both Javier and Emily turned in their saddles to try and get a glimpse of what had happened. Uncle and Bill, who were in the wagon behind the pair ordered them to hold up and take a look at what had happened. Javier and Emily moved to let Bill and Uncle past them. They stood there for a while, waiting for the last wagon to catch up with them, but to no use. 

“Should we um.. go check on them?” Emily asked, still not looking at Javier. She didn’t get an answer but saw from the corner of her eye that he steered Boaz towards the wagon that had broken. She followed him, but suddenly Javier turned back around.

“Charles went to help them. Reckon they’ll be fine.” He said and urged Boaz into a trot to catch up with the rest of the crew. Emily sighed and cantered up to Javier.   
The silence continued, but it was obvious both of the pair wanted to say something. Neither one of them also didn’t want to be the one to break the silence, so they rode in silence for a while longer. They passed a lake. Emily slowed her horse down to gaze at the landscape, old memories resurfacing.

\-- Flashback --

Loud giggling could be heard. Two people, clearly in love stood by the edge of the water. The feller who stood next to the girl threw a stone, watching it skip across the water until eventually, it sunk to the bottom of the lake. 

“No fair! Your stone was flatter than mine!” The female said, playfully punching him in the chest. He rolled his eyes.

“Or then I’m just better than you at this, querida.”, he picked up a stone from the ground and handed it to her. “here, try again. This one is flat enough, isn’t it?”   
The girl grabbed it from his eyes and with focus, threw the stone. It skipped once on the water, before sinking out of eyesight. She groaned in desperation and heard a chuckle behind her. Turning around, she saw him laughing at her.

“What are you laughing at?! It was just bad luck!” She said with frustration. He raised his eyebrows, and took a step towards her, holding his hand open with yet another flat stone. She grabbed it and inspected it in her hand, deciding it wasn’t good enough she threw it in the water.

“Oh come on now chica, you didn’t even try!” 

“It wasn’t flat enough.” She stated, folding her arms over her chest and looking at him, waiting for him to fetch her a new stone. He sighed, walked over to the water and bent down to look at the stones that were by the water. Suddenly, an idea popped into the girl’s mind. She quietly snuck behind him, and with a gentle push... 

“*Qué carajo-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence until he was face down in the water.

He quickly got up and with a shocked expression looked at his attacker, who was bent over laughing by the lakeside.  
“Oh, you’re going to pay for that!” He started wading through the water and back up on land. He grabbed her and spun her around so she was in his arms, his soaked clothes staining her own. 

“You’re making me wet!” She giggled and tried to pry away from his touch.

“Oh, is that so?” He wiggled his eyebrows, only receiving a glare from the girl in his arms. He let her go and didn’t give her much time to react or think, before turning to the water again and splashing it onto her. She shrieked, feeling the cold water trickle down her back. 

“Javier!” She shrieked again when he threw another handful of water on her. 

“Hey! It’s only fair!” He laughed. She playfully rolled her eyes and made her way towards the horses, that were hitched by a couple of trees. She grabbed the spare blouse she had packed on her horse. The chilly evening air had started to creep onto her, sending shivers down her spine. Shuddering, she was about to change shirts but suddenly felt something warm wrap around her from behind. A familiar scent lingered over the clothing the feller placed onto her shoulders. 

“Here. Don’t want you to get sick because of me.” He said. He had laid his poncho onto her shoulders. Her cheeks flushed pink, never had he been this affectionate towards her.   
She turned to face him.

“What about you? You’re even wetter than me..” 

“I’ll be fine. You know, you should wear my clothes more often.” His flirty demeanor just made her blush even more. Trying to hide her blush, she looked down at the ground but her chin was lifted up to look at him. The sun had started to set, and when he looked at her face in the sunset he felt himself falling for her even more. 

“What are you staring at?” She whispered, finding herself as well, entranced by the person standing in front of her. 

“Tú, mi amor.” 

It didn’t take much for them to lean into each other, their lips connecting. It felt as if they were made for each other, their lips fitting together perfectly. She sighed into the kiss, feeling as she had found the missing piece from her life, feeling as if she finally knew who she belonged to. It felt so right.   
His arms snaked around her waist, bringing her even closer to him, and she locked her hands behind his neck. They pulled apart to breathe for a second, but their lust for each other brought their lips back together again. After the second kiss, the pair stayed in their current positions, just gazing into each other's eyes and enjoying the warm feeling of their bodies pressed together.

“We can’t tell my father. He can’t know.” The girl said, breaking the silence. The thought of her father finding out was a terrifying one, and she couldn’t even bear to think of the consequences that would follow for the both of them if the o’mighty gang leader would spot the love between her and the Mexican outlaw. He nodded in understanding, the same thoughts filling his mind too.

“Let’s just be careful then. But I’m warning you, it might be hard for me to stay away from you.” He smirked, and was about to lean in to capture her lips for the third time, but frowning when his lover jerked her head away from him. With a playful smirk, she snatched his hat from his head and placed it onto her own head.

“I guess you just have to try then, **querido.” Walking back over to the water, he followed her like a lost puppy, and the pair spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, just enjoying the love between them. 

\-- End of flashback --

She smiled at the memory. She hadn’t noticed that Javier had stopped too, and he himself had also thought of the same memory. He looked over at Emily, who longingly gazed over the water. Even now, after a long day, she was beautiful. Her shoulder-length hair was in a messy bun, and her brown hat was tipped over her head, shadowing her eyes. He wanted to go over to her, hold her, comfort her - because even though he couldn’t see her eyes, he knew her well enough to know she was crying. 

She sniffled and accidentally locked eyes with Javier when she turned her head. His eyes had a pleading look to them. Maybe she should forgive him? It was just a stupid fight. But his words kept replaying in her head, and every damn time her brain made her hear what he had said, it felt as if a bullet ripped through her. Emily turned Rachel towards the trail and passed Javier.

“We should catch up with the others.”, Emily said. You could hear the sadness in her voice. Emily coaxed her big horse into a trot and was soon followed by Boaz and Javier. She dreaded the silence that would fall upon them again for the ride, but this time, it was different.

“Hey.” , Javier said, gaining Emily’s attention immediately. 

“Hey..”, she whispered, looking down at her hands that held the reins and avoiding eye-contact. He cleared his throat, awkwardly trying to think of the right thing to say. Javier had never been a man with words, so she didn’t expect much.

“I- um, about yesterday.. can we just, you know- forget about it?” She looked over to him and noticed how much he was struggling with trying to explain his feelings.

“Forget about it?”

“Yeah- I, we all had a long day yesterday and-” 

“Javier. You said I shouldn’t be with you.” The pair had slowed down into a slow walk now. 

“And you know I didn’t mean it. Please, Emily, can’t you see how much I’m hurting without you? It’s just been half a day or so and I already feel lost-”

“Just say you’re sorry.”, she mumbles, tears threatening to spill again. She hated that she was so vulnerable when it came to him, so she tried to hide it by tipping her hat down to shadow her eyes. 

“I’m sorry! So fucking sorry, querida.”

She looked up at him and at that moment, she felt her heart break at the thought of not accepting his apology. She stopped Rachel to look at their surroundings. It was a deep green forest they were riding along, the rest of the crew far ahead of them. 

“What were you thinking about.. when we rode by the lake?”, Emily asked, sadness lingering over her voice. She was terrified of what he was going to answer. He stopped Boaz and looked at her.

“Our first kiss. You know I was. And I knew you thought about it too.” 

She nodded at him, a few strands of her hair falling down from their previous position and shadowing her face. She looked over at Javier, who hopped down from Boaz, and walked over to Emily. She looked at him with a confused look, unsure as to what he had in mind. He held his hand out, gesturing her to take it. Emily swung her right leg over so that she was sitting with both legs on the same side, and carefully, with her hand in his, slid down from Rachel. She landed on her feet and immediately locked eyes with Javier.   
She gulped, the tension in the air making her suddenly feel extremely warm - and she was sure it wasn’t the warm weather making her feel this way. 

“Can you forgive me, mi amor?” 

“Well, you know I believe in soulmates.. and I’m afraid you’re mine- which means I kinda have to, don’t I?” She jokingly said, trying to light up the mood. He smiled and tucked the few fallen strands of hair behind her ear. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?”, he whispered. Javier leaned down and placed a quick, but loving kiss on her lips. When they pulled apart, both of the pair hopped back onto their horses. 

“We should catch up with Dutch. He’ll wonder where we are.” Javier said once he sat back down onto his saddle. He looked over at Emily and sighed when he saw the playful smirk on her lips.

“What?” 

“Race me to the others?” She offered. He chuckled, shouting a “you’re on” before he and Boaz started galloping forward. With the wind in her hair, Emily sat out in a gallop herself, easily catching up to her lover. Witty comments were thrown from one to another, laughing could be heard. The memory of their fight being long gone from the pairs’ minds. 

\--  
*Que carajo = what the fuck  
**querido = dear (masculine)


End file.
